As It Should Be
by Farewell
Summary: remus and sirius meet again, you know what these are like... hope its not TOO overdone... PG-13 to be REALLY safe....
1. Homecoming

Standard Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. It is all Hers. Oh wait, Rom is mine, unless She comes up with a twin for Remus in the books, that is. On with the show! ~ adieu  
  
  
As It Should Be ~ Prologue  
  
  
The surf crashes against the beach, soaking the two small boys playing in the sand. It is a beautiful night, the full moon sailing like a ship among the clouds.  
  
~ Wait. Full moon? ~  
  
The image changed, falling like sand through a sifter to reveal the same two boys, older now, curled together in a bed, listening to their parents fighting in the room below them.  
  
~ What on earth--? ~  
  
I am standing in front of a full-length gilt mirror, facing my reflection. ~ No. There's something wrong. I don't have gray eyes- not since- ~  
  
My reflection spoke: "That is you problem, Remy. You *always* think too much."  
  
I gape; I can't help it. "Romulus?"  
  
He grins, and the tired looking professor melts away, revealing my brother at 13 years old as I last saw him. "Who else?" he shrugs.  
  
I stand there, staring, a foolish grin ion my face. "What? How-?" All sorts of possibilities are forming in my head. Maybe he had been trapped-  
  
"No, Remus," my twin interrupts gently. "Voldemort *did* kill me. No changing that."  
  
Suddenly, the mirror shudders. The glass starts to crack; Romulus looks panicked. We both look around wildly; my brother sees something, I do not. "What? What is it?" I ask urgently.   
  
He turns to face me; the glass is cracked to his waist now.   
  
"Be careful, Remy. There's something coming. It's gonna be bad."  
  
The glass shatters, breaking the image into a million glittering shards, then explodes outwards. I throw up my arms to protect my head-  
  
*~*~*  
  
I sit up in bed remarkably calmly, for all I feel like screaming; my dead brother's words are still ringing in my ears. "Something is coming?" I bury my head in my hands. "Oh, Rom, why can you never speak plainly?"  
  
"Because that would be convenient." A voice from the doorway roused me.  
  
Jerking my head up, I gasp. "Sirius!" Without realizing how, I find myself across the room with my arms wrapped around my former lover. "Oh, Siri, Siri," I sigh. "You're home."  
  
Sirius smiles and gently moves a lock of hair from my face. "Not for long," he sobers. "Remus-"  
  
I place a finger on Sirius' lips. "Shh. I know. Let's not worry about it now." I take his hand and rise smoothly up on my toes to quickly kiss my lovers lips. Sirius whimpers as I draw away and catches my lips again. This kiss is longer, and by the time it ends, both of us are gasping for air.   
  
I smile wickedly, and take his hand. "Come to bed."  
  
He undresses silently and we slide under the blankets, curling up together for warmth. I sigh happily, running my fingertips over Sirius's too-thin chest.  
  
Sirius catches my hand, and presses a kiss to my palm. "Let's just lie here for a while, Rem."  
  
I curl closer, pillowing my head on his chest. With my arms wrapped around Sirius, I am content and sleepy. "Sounds good to me." I give a brief squeeze. "I'm so glad you're home."   
  
Sirius gives a quiet laugh. "Me, too, Remy. Me, too."  
  
*~*~* 


	2. As it should be

Standard Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. It is all Hers. The song isn't mine either, its Loch Lomond by er... someone. and sorry for putting it in... just skip over the lyrics if you want- i just couldn't think of another way to write that scene. Rom *is* mine, unless She comes up with a twin for Remus in the books, that is. On with the show! ~ adieu  
  
  
As It Should Be   
  
  
Dawn found Remus and Sirius walking up the drive to the great doors of Hogwarts. Sirius bounded ahead in dog form, sniffed the door, and then ran back to Remus, leaping up lightly to lick his face.  
  
"Ugh! Hey!" Remus indignantly wiped his cheek. "Stop it." Sirius ears drooped and his tail went down at the tone of annoyance in his lover's voice.  
  
Remus sighed. "I'm sorry, Siri. I didn't mean it."  
  
The dog leapt up and licked him again, and joyously bounded away again; this time he stopped at the door to wait.  
  
"Brat." Remus fondly insulted him.  
  
As he reached up to knock on the great door, it was suddenly yanked open to reveal three smiling faces: Harry Potter, Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley.  
  
"Snuffles!" Harry crowed happily as he flung his arms around the dogs neck. Ron and Hermione gathered around and patted him enthusiastically.   
  
Remus stood off to the side, smiling fondly. He was happy that his mate was loved.  
  
Quietly, he slipped away, and made his way up to Dumbledore's office; he needed to speak with the old man alone.  
  
*~*~*  
  
"According to Sirius, Voldemort is already back. But I suspect that it may be worse than that. Rom doesn't usually come to me unless it's really bad." Remus sat back in his chair with a sigh.   
  
"This is very disturbing, Remus." Dumbledore leaned forward over his desk. "Are you sure it wasn't just your imagination?"  
  
"I wish it was, Headmaster; I really do. I--" Remus hesitated. "Rom was a bit of a seer. He could sometimes tell when something would happen- that's how he wasn't bitten as well."  
  
"What?!" Sirius crossed into the room angrily. "What do you mean, Remus? 'That's how he wasn't bitten.' He *knew* that thing would bite you?" He stood in front of Remus, looking murderous.   
  
"He only knew enough to save himself, Siri." Remus spoke quietly. "He didn't know in time to get to me."  
  
Sirius made a dubious noise and flung himself into a chair beside Remus, who glared at him. He glanced over, and looked abashed. "I'm sorry, Remus. I know you were close." The words sounded gritted out.  
  
Dumbledore looked amusedly at the two men. He seemed to be trying very hard not to smile. "Back together, are you?"   
  
Remus half-smiled. "That obvious, eh?"   
  
"Only to me." The old man let his smile shine through. "You two belong together."  
  
The two smiled at each other, and reached to grasp hands. "We know," they said simultaneously, and all three of them roared with laughter, as much from hilarity as relieved tension.  
  
"Alright boys, you're lucky- everyone in Griffyndor Tower except Harry, Ron and Hermione has gone home for the holidays. You can stay in the tower with them."  
  
"Wonderful," Remus stood up and shook Dumbledore's hand. "Much appreciated."  
  
Dumbledore nodded. "I assume you can find your own way. The password is 'Sugar Quill'."  
  
After they had left, the old man sank down into his chair. "It's wonderful to see them together again," he murmured to himself, as the paintings behind him nodded their heads in agreement. "We need some happiness now."  
  
*~*~*  
  
The atmosphere in the Gryffindor Common Room was a merry one. Sirius and Harry had snuck down and raided the kitchens; the floor by the big hearth was covered with food. They were all seated on the floor, leaning on the couches.  
  
Harry and Ron were regaling Sirius with stories of the year so far; Hermione had her head together with Remus - they were discussing Boggarts.   
  
At a lull in the conversations, Sirius reached a long leg over and poked Remus with his toe. "Sing something."  
  
Hermione looked up interestedly. "You can sing, Remus?" She still felt a little bit flustered over calling her former teacher by his first name.   
  
"Oh, I haven't for--"  
  
"Of course he can!" Sirius interrupted. "Please Remus?" He gave his best "wounded-puppy" look.  
  
Remus looked at him and gave in. "Oh, all right." He stepped over Sirius' legs and wandered over to one of the hanging tapestries. "I wonder if it's still here..."  
  
He pulled back the tapestry, and reached a hand into the wall. The teenagers gaped as Remus drew out a battered guitar from the wall.  
  
"Huh." Sirius laughed. "What do you know?"  
  
Remus and the guitar sat down beside Sirius. Gently, he strummed the strings, winced, and adjusted a knob while the others sat entranced.   
  
"What should I play, Siri?" he asked quietly.   
  
Sirius answered quickly. "That one you used to sing when one of us had a nightmare..." he looked up to the teenagers. "Remus is a light sleeper- when one of us had nightmares, he would wake up and sing us back to sleep."  
  
Remus smiled faintly, like he was remembering something fondly. He nodded and plucked the strings, picking out a soft melody.  
  
"By yon bonnie banks, and by yon bonnie braes,   
Where the sun shines bright on Loch Lomond  
Where me and my true love were ever wont to go  
On the bonnie, bonnie banks of Loch Lomond."  
  
Harry caught Hermione's eye, and raised his brows at his godfather. She quickly looked to see what he meant.   
  
Sirius was gazing at Remus with a slight smile on his face. The girl was shocked at the expression in his dark eyes. *Oh my,* she thought. *Sirius loves him...* The look on Harry's face showed that he had come to this conclusion, too.  
  
"The wee bird may sing and the wild flowers spring  
And in sunshine the waters be sleeping  
But my broken heart knows not the heather or the glen  
For it's blinded by the tears that I'm weeping  
  
A quick glance at Ron confirmed that he had noticed himself. He looked at Hermione and grinned, waggling his red eyebrows a bit. Harry smiled a bit at that, too. The two men were oblivious to it all - Sirius staring at Remus; Remus had his eyes closed as he sang.  
  
  
"Oh you'll take the high road, and I'll take the low road  
And I'll be in Scotland before you  
But me and my true love will never meet again  
On the bonnie, bonnie banks of Loch Lomond."  
  
Harry nudged Ron in the ribs, signaling him and Hermione to go up to the dorm ahead of him. They quickly caught the hint and she yawned hugely. "That was wonderful, Remus, thank you. Well, I'm off to bed. Goodnight all!"  
  
Ron quickly stood up. "Me too. See you tomorrow." He bounded up the stairs behind Hermione.  
  
Harry waited until he heard the dorm doors close behind his friends before he spoke. "So why are you guys really here? Christmas visit seems a little far-fetched."  
  
The adults looked at each other. "I had to talk to Dumbledore about something," Remus said. "It was just luck that we were able to stay."  
  
"Ah." Harry knew better than to ask what they were talking about. "What about you, Sirius?"  
  
The thin man shrugged. "Just following Remus."  
  
There was an uncomfortable silence.   
  
The werewolf stood up. "I think I'll follow Hermione and Ron and turn in. Good night." He stepped over Sirius again, and slid the guitar back behind the wall.  
  
Before he advanced up the stairs, Remus cast a glance at Sirius, and then continued on his way.  
  
Harry again waited for the sound of the door.  
  
"So."  
  
"So."  
  
Harry took a breath. "You don't have to lie to me Sirius. What are you really doing here with Remus?" he asked.  
  
Sirius looked at Harry for a long time. "What do you think I'm doing with Remus?" he asked gently.  
  
"I- I think... I think that you and he are- -" his mind wouldn't let him say it. "Are you?"  
  
"Yes, Harry. We are together," Sirius' voice was calm.  
  
"In... that way?" Harry was angry at the quiver in his voice.  
  
"I love him, Harry."  
  
Harry was silent for a moment. "Oh," he said. "Well. That's alright." He stood up. "I'd better go to bed, Sirius. Goodnight." Not looking at his godfather, he turned and fled.  
  
Sirius sat by the fire, not moving. It was only when Remus gently touched his shoulder that he looked up.  
  
"He... he..."  
  
"Shh, love," Remus cradled Sirius' head against him. "I know. I heard it all." He held the man as silent tears began to fall.   
  
After a minute and a thoroughly soaked shirt, Remus lifted his lover's chin, kissing the wet cheek.  
  
"He's just shocked, Siri. It'll be alright, he'll come around."  
  
"I had hoped that he would react differently."  
  
Remus gently poked his shoulder. "Listen: he was just shocked. He'll come around."  
  
"Do you think so?" The hope in his voice wrenched his heart. "I know so, love. Now come to bed."  
  
Remus pulled the other to his feet and kissed him. "It will be alright, love." He smiled impishly. "You trust me, right?"  
  
"With my life. And... other things..." Sirius stifled a yelp as Remus' questing hands found their way under his shirt. "But...not now," he drew those hands out, and kissed them. "Not here."  
  
"Then come... to... bed," Remus grinned. Sirius reluctantly let himself be dragged into the empty dorm room. Once the door was locked, the two men undressed and slid beneath the covers.   
  
Remus immediately wrapped himself around his lover, and gently kissed the neck exposed to him. Running his hands up and down Sirius' sides, he buried his face in the other's neck, sucking gently on the skin.  
  
Sirius grabbed Remus' hands, and turned to him. "Rem... not- - not now. Please..." he looked up with hooded eyes. "I'm not- I- I'm not ready for that yet. Please..."  
  
Remus sat up and looked at him, concerned. He searched his eyes for a long time before speaking. "What did they do to you, love?" he whispered despairingly. "Who hurt you so badly?"  
  
Sirius looked down and would not answer. Remus gently placed his hand on the man's cheek; wincing inwardly when he flinched.  
  
Leaning forward, Remus touched his forehead to Sirius'. "I would *never, ever* force you to do something you didn't want to Sirius. We don't have to do anything tonight- I'll sleep in the other bed if you want," he offered.  
  
Sirius' eyes snapped open. "No! No, I want you here- I love having you near. The nightmares don't come when you hold me; I just can't--" Sirius shook his head and gave up trying to explain.  
  
"Shh, shh love. I understand; it's perfectly fine." Remus settled back down. "Can I hold you?" He opened his arms as Sirius smiled and dove into them. "You tell me right away if I do something that makes you uncomfortable. Promise you'll tell me?" he murmured into Sirius' dark hair.  
  
"I promise."  
  
Remus pulled the blankets up to cover both of them, and, lying curled together like they did once upon a time when they were children, they drifted off; the worries of the past few days were forgotten.  
  
*~*~*  
  
"*Harry*!" Hermione hissed as he entered the dorm.  
  
"How could you do that?" Ron asked angrily.  
  
Before Harry could answer, Hermione grabbed his arm and dragged him over to the mirror.  
  
Waving her wand at the glass, she spoke a few words. Suddenly the reflection shivered and changed; it now showed the Common Room. Harry stared briefly and turned to her. "How did you- -?"  
  
"Shut up." Hermione pointed at the mirror. "Look. Do you understand how much you've hurt him?"  
  
Harry gazed at the image, and started when Remus walked up to Sirius and touched his shoulder. Remus cradled Sirius' head to his chest, holding him tenderly. Harry could see his lips move, but there was no sound. Remus lifted the other's chin and kissed his cheek.  
  
"They love each other, Harry." Ron spoke quietly. "Can't you see it?"  
  
"Yes, but- -"  
  
"No, Harry." Hermione placed a finger on his lips. "No buts. You can see it. Don't you want him to be happy?"  
  
Harry sighed, defeated. "You guys are right."  
  
"Then you should tell Sirius that." Ron took a breath. "You really hurt him, Harry."  
  
"I know." Harry started towards the door. "I'm going to talk to him." He opened the door and stepped out, then jumped back in and closed the door, blushing furiously.  
  
"They're- -" he cleared his throat. "Busy."  
  
The other two glanced at the mirror, which showed Remus and Sirius kissing, and blushed themselves.  
  
"Well, you can't say they don't like each other," Ron laughed, embarrassed.   
  
Hermione blanked the glass then bade the boys' goodnight, quickly darting over to her dorm, carefully not looking in the direction of the two retreating men.  
  
She was glad that they had found each other again.  
  
*~*~*  
  
When the three teenagers came down the stairs the next morning, the first thing they saw was Sirius and Remus curled up on the couch together; Sirius had his head on Remus' lap and was laughing at something the other had said.  
  
"Oh, I had forgotten all about that!" Sirius laughed. "I think we should start that up again."  
  
"Start what up again?" Ron asked.  
  
The two jerked their heads up, startled.   
  
"Oh, a - uh - " Remus grinned mischievously down at the man in his lap. The change in his face was startling; Hermione could see the happy young man he must have been.  
  
"Tormenting Snape in various devious ways," Sirius drawled, giving the other a meaningful glare.   
  
"Oh no, please," Hermione interrupted. "He's in a bad enough mood as it is..."   
  
Remus smiled and looked innocent. "We won't. Promise."  
  
"Mmphm." Hermione grumbled, not looking convinced.   
  
"Anyways, we should go down to breakfast, or we won't get anything," Ron elbowed the girl beside him. "C'mon Hermione."  
  
Looking meaningfully at Harry, the two walked out.  
  
Clearing his throat, Harry started speaking. "Uh, Sirius, um, I just wanted to...um..."  
  
Remus gently lifted Sirius' head from his lap. "I think I'm going to go lay down." He stood up to leave. "See you in a little while." He vanished up the stairs.  
  
Sirius sighed and sat up, patting the spot Remus had just vacated. Harry uncertainly sat down.  
  
"Harry, before you say anything, I want you to promise me- please don't lie to me. Don't make yourself uncomfortable for my sake."  
  
Harry sat still for a moment, shocked. He hadn't expected Sirius to say that. "I - no, Sirius," Harry said, dismayed. "I wanted to talk to you - tell you that I'm sorry I acted like that. It was horrible of me."  
  
Sirius smiled faintly. "You feel the way you feel, Harry. Can't change that."  
  
The boy caught the double meaning. "I know you love him, Sirius. I can see it in the way you look at each other. And- it's fine with me." He saw the look the man was giving him. "Really. I was just a little shocked. I had never thought of either of you as being..."  
  
"Gay?" Sirius supplied.  
  
"Well, yes. And... I'm, so used to listening to the Dursleys telling people how evil it is, and I guess I started to believe it. I'm so sorry Sirius. I know I hurt you."  
  
Sirius smiled and pulled Harry to him, hugging him tightly. That surprised him- Sirius had never seemed to be a very tactile person. "It's alright Harry. I know it was a shock for you." He pulled away a bit. "So we're okay?"  
  
Harry smiled brightly. "Very okay."  
  
"Great." Sirius lightly pushed Harry. "No go get some breakfast!"  
  
Harry laughed and went over to the Portrait Hole, then looked back solemnly. "I'm glad you have him, Sirius. You deserve some happiness."  
  
Before a dumbfounded Sirius could reply, he was out the door.  
  
*~*~*  
  
As Harry entered the Great Hall, he caught sight of his friends and went over to the Gryffindor table where he sat beside Ron and Hermione.  
  
"So?" Ron asked. "How'd it go?"  
  
"Fine."  
  
"Only fine?" Hermione asked disbelievingly.  
  
Harry smiled. "We're all good." Quietly he told them what had passed in the Common Room.  
  
"That's great, Harry!" Hermione grinned. "I'm so glad!"  
  
"So you resolved your differences, did you Harry?" The three jumped as Dumbledore spoke from behind them.  
  
"Oh, yes Professor. I did." Harry stuttered.   
  
The old man rested a hand on his shoulder. "I'm glad Harry. Those two have certainly had enough sorrow." He smiled and walked towards the staff table.  
  
Breakfast passed quickly, and the teenagers made their way back up to the tower.  
  
*~*~*  
  
Remus started slightly as Sirius came up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist.  
  
Sirius looked at him. "What was that, Rem? You never startle."  
  
Remus smiled. "Oh, I was just thinking."  
  
"About what?"  
  
"Romulus." He sighed. "Oh, I wish you could have met him, Siri."  
  
"You miss him, don't you?"  
  
"Not as much. Sometimes I feel like he's still here, you know?"  
  
"I know. I feel the same way with James and Lily. Like they're looking over my shoulder or something. Watching out for me."  
  
"Yes," they settled, Remus tucking his head under Sirius' chin. Suddenly, Remus started to shake. Sirius tightened his arms around the smaller man. "What's wrong?" he murmured.  
  
"I'm scared, Padfoot. The last time Rom came to me James and Lily died."  
  
"*What?*"  
  
"I didn't find out in time. I got there as soon as I knew. I saw Hagrid leaving on your bike, and Lily and James..." Remus took a breath. "Last I saw you, the guards were taking you away. Oh, Sirius, I tried to see you, but they wouldn't let me; they wouldn't let me!"  
  
Sirius rocked gently. "I know, love, I know. They told me. I heard them through the door. I kept remembering that in Azkaban: knowing that you tried to get to me. You gave me hope, Remus, you made me keep believing in myself."  
  
The smaller man turned and buried his nose in Sirius' chest. "I love you."  
  
"I love you, too. I'm still trying to figure out how I got so lucky as to have you."  
  
"Oh, I gave up long ago."  
  
"Will you always be here with me, Remy?"  
  
"Always."  
  
And for that one moment, worries about war, the past, all the things that could go so horribly wrong, everything was forgotten, and all seemed as it should be.  
  
~fin~ 


End file.
